Friday, June 5, 2009

Confession

Okay, maybe a blog is not the place to "confess" but where else right???

So in the last month or two I have been having a big I mean BIG problem with jealousy. I have never considered myself a jealous person, but I do know that when it sprouts, it can really take hold. You know like the ivy that begins at the base of a beautiful brick house, then years later all you can see is a large house-shaped ivy bush... well that has been me. Barely visible under a mass of jealousy.

It seemed like everyone else had something I didn't. My friend who was living with family (like myself) bought a house. My friend who was running (like myself) was losing weight and  looked great. Another person's kid plays baseball perfectly, someone else's husband makes more money. It was always something, her legs are longer, her hair is shinier, her kid dances better, and yadda yadda yadda. I was beginning to make myself annoyed from hearing the "it's not fair" voice in my head all the time.

No wonder I couldn't find anything to blog about. Thank goodness for my superb acting skills, or people would NOT have wanted to hang out with me.

You know what, life is NOT fair. And she will always have longer legs than me. Some things you can't do anything about. Some things you can. 

So, I am going to try to shut off that whiney voice and do something about it. I have seen that it could always be worse. There is always something worse, than dry hair or love handles. I still have to convince myself of this one.  So starting today, I am going to find 5 positive things to think about me and my life each day. 5 is going to be tricky for me, baby steps, baby steps.

1. I have hair! not shiny, but not falling out.
2. Abbie makes me laugh. not always at a good moment, but laughing at all is good.
3. Reagan will give me  snuggle whenever I want it. 
4. Dan works hard for us (really hard)
5. I ran 92 miles last month. So I must be sort of tough. right?




7 comments:

Anne said...

n- i love you!!! this is why we are friends- because i think these same crazy thoughts every day. and plenty of times i am jealous of you!! i have felt the same way and love your idea of 5 daily things. i'm going to start doing that too. and btw- i can think of a lot more than 5 things you should be happy about!! so here's to getting those voices out of our head. (now that makes me sound crazy!!) love ya!! a

Erin Larsen said...

actually people are probably jealous of you and you gorgeous move star look and always smiley face!! I love ya life would def be boring with out you!!!!! please be my friend :0)

Jessie said...

I'm not jealous so much, but I am complainy - and maybe self-absorbed. There. Now I've confessed too. Feel better?

I think you have fabulous hair! And I think your girls are adorable and charming. I also think you guys are the coolest, most fun family around, and sometimes you motivate me to be more fun and just relax already.

Buffy said...

Nicole - you are not the only one who thinks everyone else has it better in some way or another. I am jealous that you get to wear high heels and cute shoes, I am jealous of your beautiful hair and your long/hard fingernails, I am jealous that you have 2 cute little girls and that you get to live with your husband and that you get to hang out and go to concerts with Anne, and that you KILLED me in the running challenge, I could go on and on. I know it is easy to see all the great in other people but I hope you know how great you are! Love ya! B

Just dandee said...

I am so with you on the jealousy thing. Why do we have to do that. It really is just bad.

Anyway, I have really loved getting to know you through this blog. I love your fun carefree personality that totally shines through. I love your absolutely georgeous hair. You have such a celebrity look about you. You have a beautiful family and I am so glad I have gotten to know you.

Oh and 92 miles completely ROCKS!

JoDee said...

Oh, you are so not alone...I think its a "girl-thang" to sit and compare and envy. I love your idea of the 5-a-day. Definately a lot more productive and smile-inducing than not. I think I'll start instituting that as well. Before I do: here are things about YOU I envy...that beautiful hair, those gorgeous eyes, your spunky - party personality, your laid-back non-worrying attitude. Love you!

Anonymous said...

You are so adorable! I have something to add to your lists:
I am jealous that you are graceful and beautiful, even when sliding down a Baracuda water-slide! You can "strike a pose" and look adorable just seconds before the rushing water dunks you under and shoves water up your nose, and delivers a swimsuit wedgie. You keep us all laughing- I love you for that! -Nalani