Okay, maybe a blog is not the place to "confess" but where else right???
So in the last month or two I have been having a big I mean BIG problem with jealousy. I have never considered myself a jealous person, but I do know that when it sprouts, it can really take hold. You know like the ivy that begins at the base of a beautiful brick house, then years later all you can see is a large house-shaped ivy bush... well that has been me. Barely visible under a mass of jealousy.
It seemed like everyone else had something I didn't. My friend who was living with family (like myself) bought a house. My friend who was running (like myself) was losing weight and looked great. Another person's kid plays baseball perfectly, someone else's husband makes more money. It was always something, her legs are longer, her hair is shinier, her kid dances better, and yadda yadda yadda. I was beginning to make myself annoyed from hearing the "it's not fair" voice in my head all the time.
No wonder I couldn't find anything to blog about. Thank goodness for my superb acting skills, or people would NOT have wanted to hang out with me.
You know what, life is NOT fair. And she will always have longer legs than me. Some things you can't do anything about. Some things you can.
So, I am going to try to shut off that whiney voice and do something about it. I have seen that it could always be worse. There is always something worse, than dry hair or love handles. I still have to convince myself of this one. So starting today, I am going to find 5 positive things to think about me and my life each day. 5 is going to be tricky for me, baby steps, baby steps.
1. I have hair! not shiny, but not falling out.
2. Abbie makes me laugh. not always at a good moment, but laughing at all is good.
3. Reagan will give me snuggle whenever I want it.
4. Dan works hard for us (really hard)
5. I ran 92 miles last month. So I must be sort of tough. right?