Monday, June 29, 2009

Summer Education

Thanks to my subscription to Glamour magazine I have been getting a "proper" summer education. Since some of you might be too busy frolicking in the sun and vacationing at the beach, I will pass along some insightful tidbits to you. Enjoy!

1. 75% of women pee in the shower. According to a Glamour survey, and it is perfectly OK! flushing the toilet accounts for 27% of indoor water use. So cool,go green, or yellow rather, save water and pee in the shower. Urine is sterile and non-toxic, after all, that guy Bear Grills drinks his pee all the time. Some people even believe it can help athletes foot. Just don't do it when you are not alone in the shower.

2. 85% of women wear dirty clothes. Yeah, I think we have all done that, who wants to waste water cleaning something you just wore to church. But here is the gross part... there is about 1/10th of a gram of fecal matter in worn undies ( that is not true for kids undies... that is like 3 grams) that has all kinds of bacteria. This bacteria can transfer to other clothes in your hamper and make you sick if you are rooting around in the clothes. So if you are a regular hamper digger, be sure to wash your hands. If you are like me and your worn clothes end up on your floor long before they ever think of going into the wash, pick 'em up and wear 'em again, just try not to see the same people.

3. 32% of women go barefoot at the gym. okay... this apparently is NOT good. there is lots of stuff in hot sweaty, steamy areas that can cause plantar warts and athletes foot. Or if the places between your toes doesn't get dry, infection can grow and grow. So by the advice of Glamour mag, splurge on a pair of $1.99 flip-flops for your gym bag.

Kate winslet is the #1 most glamorous woman. Michelle Obama is a close 3rd, Angelina Jolie 4th. Okay. Apparently they have never met me or my friends... Not a fair judgement. For a shout out for the plus size girls... Queen Latifa made it on the list, barely at #46. 3 spots lower than actual queen Rania of Jordan. Thankfully Megan fox (transformers) made it, I was beginning to doubt the credibility.

Now, for the moral education section:

Things you can think, but not say

* Zorro?! you named your baby Zorro?

*Didn't I tell you not to marry him, you fool?

*Whew. Another successful regifting.

*I am not sorry and I was right.

For those of you that are feeling conflicted about cheating... Glamour gives us some standards to refer too:

80% say it is cheating to exchange steamy Facebook messages.

37% say it is not cheating to kiss another girl. Now, if it happens more than once... the number jumps to 72%. So for those of you contemplating a girl-girl kiss... 28% think that it is OK and keep doing it, a lot if you want.

So you know what is OK...

it is OK... to have a whole bathing suit collection (tankinis, bikinis, string-inis ?!?) but always wear the same old black one piece. pick up change off the ground as part of your personal financial recovery plan.

... to bury the price tags in the trash.

... to not know what to say sometimes. kiss him just because he looks hot with his shirt off. ( or looks cute, or took the trash out, or let you sleep in) wait! That is more than OK - its awesome ( and might get you more of the same!)

Next time I will give some valuable relationship tips from OK! Magazine.

There you go. That should get you by for a week or so.

1 comment:

Jessie said...

These are funny. I thought I'd commented way back when, but I guess I haven't. I was just coming back over to say HI and where the heck are you? I need Harward updates, man!
I hope all is well.